In Between Dreams
by Nanaki BH
Summary: A thunderstorm finally wakes Shinji from the planet of death. He wakes in a friendlier world. [Kaworu Shinji in later chapters]
1. It's Come To This

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. I wouldn't even want it if I could have it. The album title "In Between Dreams" belongs to Jack Johnson.

In Between Dreams  
By: Nanaki BH

_She didn't breathe or move. He gripped her throat violently, teeth clenched tight. Somehow, the unfathomable had happened. He'd only wanted his own death… yet everyone else had died for him. He sat alone with her there, surrounded by the oceans of blood, tears falling unwillingly from his cheeks. All he'd wanted was his own death…_

Shinji woke late at night, startled out of his sleep by the sound of thunder. The world around him was frighteningly clear. Within seconds of opening his eyes, Shinji's mind was flooded by recent memories of horror and anguish that he couldn't seem to shake away. Inside, he knew something was terribly wrong. His breath quickened and he sat up on his futon, looking around wildly. When he was sure his heart was just about ready to burst from its cage, he let out an ear splitting scream. He sat there for a moment, legs pulled up close to his body, hands clutched tightly in his hair. In the back of his mind he was almost thankful for the unnerving quiet of the room.

He heard footsteps rapidly thudding down the hallway to his room. There, in his doorway, stood Asuka, clad in her familiar baggy shirt and small shorts. "Shinji!" She hollered in a whispered voice. "What happened? God, wake me up will you!"

He let his hands fall from his hair to rest at his lap, but kept the rest of himself relatively still. For a while, he just sat there, trying to find the words to articulate what was going on inside of him, but he found nothing that would bring justice to the chaos. In fact, he could find no words at all, just sounds and feelings; memories. Eventually, his gaze fell to his hands… and noticed a single tear fall from his cheek to his palm.

"Shinji," she repeated, "what's wrong?" She came to his side, sitting next to him to rest a hand reassuringly on his shoulder. His face finally faltered, his lips quivering, teeth chattering together in fear.

"Asuka," he whispered. It seemed to be the only word that could come from his lips. "Asuka," he breathed again, trying desperately to tell her anything. He reached up and touched her cheek, surprised to find it warm and real. His hand slowly slid from her cheek to her neck where he lingered there briefly, remembering something in particular.

Asuka jerked away, smacking his hand. "Knock it off, you pervert!" She was blushing madly.

"No!" Shinji managed. "I… I just," he stopped, realizing that no matter what he said, it wouldn't make sense to him or _her_ anyway. "Asuka, you're alive." He decided it was the best way to word what he meant. She felt so real to him… not like she did moments ago, lying cold and almost dead on the deserted and dying planet.

She scoffed, backing up. "What? Did you have a dream I died or something?" She sat awkwardly for a little. "That's okay, Shinji," she said, "I've had dreams like that." In her eyes he saw something familiar; the same thing he saw in her eyes when she talked about her mother.

"No," he said, "not a dream." He shook his head furiously, furrowing his eyebrows. "It couldn't have been a dream." Another tear slid down his cheek. "Asuka, if I was asleep, then I've been asleep my whole life!"

"What are you saying?" she asked him curiously.

"I'm saying," he said, gasping for air through his tears, "that I've… I don't know." He laid himself back down, putting an arm over his face in a feeble attempt to hide his tears. "You died… Misato died… my father, Kaworu, Rei, _everyone!_" The tears couldn't be held back any longer and he sobbed openly, shoulders shaking with every tremor.

She laid herself down next to his futon, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Shinji-kun," she whispered, "dreams are just dreams. I know. You were probably scared by the thunder. You woke me up from a really weird dream too. Spiders… blach!" Asuka put a hand on his arm, easing it away from his tear streaked face. "Listen, just go back to sleep."

"No… I can't," he said in a voice small. "I can't. Not now." He rolled over to look at her; seriously taking in her whole face. "Asuka, it just felt so real." For a brief moment, he closed his eyes as somewhat of a test. He counted to three, praying all the while, and then opened them to luckily see the world before him again. "But this must be real. You must be real… and me too, right?"

She nodded.

"Good. But I don't remember _this_. All I can remember is my dream." Suddenly he panicked inside, fearing that maybe he'd just jumped into another reality. Could this have been what Rei was talking about? _No_, he thought to himself, _that can't possibly be._ "Why are you here, Asuka?"

She raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"We're at the apartment, right?" he asked, trying his best to steady his shaky breathing. She nodded. "Alright, so what are _you _doing here? In my dream you were from Germany… and you stayed here with me."

Asuka laughed, sitting up. "Yeah, I _am_ from Germany and I _am_ staying here with you as a transfer student. Your father thought it would be good for you to have somebody else here with you."

"My father?" he asked, the familiar resentment rising in him once again.

She made a small sound of affirmation. "Yeah, idiot. Did this dream erase your memory or something?" She laughed again, punching him playfully on the arm. "No, it must just be late. He's out working for the government or something… I don't know exactly what he does because you've never bothered to tell me. He's never here though. I've never seen him but he talked with the teachers and told them I could stay with you."

Shinji looked up at her, really seeing her. It was weird. The room gradually felt more like home; something he hadn't felt in a while. "Thank you. I must sound really weird."

"No, it's okay," she said, leaning back with her palms on the floor. "I don't mind. I was finding it hard to sleep with the thunder as it was."

Shinji folded his arms behind his head and crossed his legs comfortably at the ankles. "So what about the others?"

"Like who?" she asked.

"Like Misato, Ayanami, and Kaworu. What about them? They were all in my… _dream_ and they were very important." He felt something in his chest… that out of place feeling again. Silently, he begged the warm feeling to stay; not to leave him now when he'd just found it.

Asuka frowned, eyeing him warily. "This dream must have really messed you up. I guess they can do that sometimes… well, Misato's our teacher." She laughed again, poking him between the eyes. "She's not dead. Don't worry. Ayanami Rei is a new student, but who's Kaworu?"

He paled; understanding then what the fear was. "You… don't know him?"

She shrugged. "Doesn't really sound familiar… But we have some new kids at our school I don't know. What does he look like? Or was he a friend _you _know? Heaven knows you don't tell me much." Asuka watched him intently as he shifted uneasily on his small bed.

"He's just a little bit taller than me," he whispered, sounding like tears were threatening to enter his voice. "He's thin, has pale skin and light hair… and he smiles a lot. It's weird, Asuka," he said, staring at the wall. "I feel like I've just been somewhere else for a really long time, like this is real, but so was that. How long have we been in school this year?"

"Only for five days. Just enough to get us started," she said simply.

He wanted to believe her so much, but couldn't bring his heart to trust her. He rolled over and faced the window, finally closing his eyes for good. "I'm going to go to sleep. Make sure to wake me up in the morning."

Author's Notes: I didn't intend to make this multichapteral, but I can make it a two part thing, I guess. In good tradition of Evangelion, I'm not going to explain much. That's all you're getting from me – it was a dream. How the hell would I explain further plot in that show anyway? Well, tell me what you think. Kaworu+Shinji will be in the next chapter for you.


	2. Hideaway

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. I wouldn't even want it if I could have it. The album title "In Between Dreams" belongs to Jack Johnson.

In Between Dreams  
By: Nanaki BH

Asuka woke Shinji early the next morning. With some sleep, he felt much more at ease. The morning sun filtered through his blinds casting rows of light on the floor. He lay there in his bed for a little while though; apprehensive. Though unlike the night before, Shinji's mind wasn't under the same heavy assault. It was peaceful in his head and he was almost tempted to go back to sleep. After just laying there, staring at his ceiling for five minutes, he decided it would be best to get up and say "hello" to the world he forgot.

He sat up somewhat painfully, as his back refused to realize it was morning. With his back and neck still numb from his restless sleep, he made his way over to his window to look out; the early morning glow caressed every inch of his face. It was just as he remembered it, but the familiar structure reminded him of the eerie dream – of how the apartment couldn't shield him from the daily pain inflicted upon his weary psyche. He would come home hoping for respite, but his soul would receive none…

Shinji leaned forward at the window, resting his arms on the sill. Slowly, he closed his eyes and laid his head in his folded arms. Behind his eyes, he could still see everything that had happened. He remembered vividly the night before though… and he was certainly in his apartment now. He sighed softly. It all_ was_ just a dream after all, wasn't it? But how could it have been when everything was so _real?_ Everything; the EVAs, the Angels… Kaworu and Rei… Maybe it was just the new school year freaking him out, he thought.

Maybe it was like the typical fear of "the boogieman". The space his father kept probably led him to feel he was deceiving him in his dream. Asuka was a familiar face, but he didn't know much about her. Misato was still his (very attractive) guiding figure and Rei was the silent new child; just they all were a bit shadier in his dream. And EVA? It gave him purpose. He felt loved; _protected_ in EVA. EVA became the shield for his fears.

He opened his eyes reluctantly, not wanting to go back to school, almost sad it was all a dream now. EVA didn't exist… what was his purpose now? Kaworu didn't exist either. Yet still, he stood and dressed for school, grabbed his school bag, and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast with Asuka.

"Hikari?" he said, surprised to see one of his younger classmates in his kitchen. "What are you doing here?" He blushed, trying his best to straighten out his hair, which was still sticking out in all directions.

She smiled, sipping her cup of tea. "I just decided to walk to school with you guys today. Your apartment's on the way, so I figured it would work out fine, you know?" She put down her tea so she could tug gently on Asuka's apron. "What's taking those eggs so long?"

"I'm not good at cooking," she said, flipping over an egg. "You'll be lucky if they even taste like eggs, okay?"

Shinji smiled, relieved that everything was back to normal. He sat down across from Hikari and stared at the cup of steaming tea before him. "Is this one mine?" he asked. She waved a hand at him, still preoccupied with her cooking.

Breakfast was hardly breakfast as promised. It wasn't really the best way to start off his day, especially after such a fitful night. Even if the food wasn't that great, the company was certainly appreciated. Hikari and Asuka managed to take his mind off of the dream for most of breakfast and for almost the entire walk to school.

Upon entering the classroom, Shinji was tackled by his two best friends Kensuke and Toji. "I still can't believe _she's_ our teacher this year, Shinji!" They wailed together. Shinji found himself blushing deeply, embarrassed that he didn't feel the same way the fawning boys did. They would never find that out though, so long as he kept his silence.

They were right in a sense though. He couldn't believe Misato was their teacher either. Each time he looked up from his books he'd see her at the front of the class, the same Misato from his dreams. He was a little bit disappointed that he wouldn't have the same level of comfort he did around her anymore though. But each time he saw her he would remember that kiss she gave him before she died… and then wonder if he really _did_ feel the way Kensuke and Toji did.

Asuka sat a few seats behind him and every now and then during math, she would throw paper balls at the back of his head. At one point, he actually turned around and managed to catch one right after she threw it. That one was curiously bigger than the other billions of little paper balls she'd thrown. He raised an eyebrow at her and she simply shrugged with a quirky smile on her face. He turned around to face the board again. Cautiously, he looked around to make sure no one else had noticed the note he'd received.

Slowly, he unfolded the note, careful not to make the paper crinkle loud enough for others to hear. _"Rei Ayanami is creepy, isn't she?"_ it read. Rei! He'd completely forgotten about her! He started looking around the room frantically for her. How'd he missed her the whole time?

There, at the back of the classroom, in the far left corner, sat Rei. Her hands were folded politely on her desk, her chin raised in full attention and courtesy. He remembered the day she came to their school; how the other kids didn't want anything to do with her. Maybe it was because she was so… stand-offish. She was quiet, and seemed a little lonely. She was smart though, but for some reason she hadn't spoken that day. It might have been because the other kids didn't like that fact. "Acting like a brainiac" probably didn't put her in too good with the other kids. Now, he noticed, she looked a little sad.

After lunch they were granted a sort of recess. That was when Shinji took his chance to talk to Rei. He wanted to prove the other kids wrong; to prove Asuka wrong especially. He wanted to show them that there was more to Rei. If this Rei was anything like the one in his dream, then there certainly _was_ more to her. Like before, it was a bit difficult to find her though. She seemed to shrink away from attention. That was smart, he decided. If she avoided them for now they wouldn't notice her and that way, she wouldn't be made fun of.

Well, that didn't stop Asuka, did it?

"Rei!" He called, finally spotting her on the front steps. She looked up from the notebook she was writing in. Hastily, she closed the notebook and shoved it into the bag at her side. She didn't respond to him; just sat there and looked at him awkwardly.

"W… What?" She stammered quietly, zipping her book bag.

He waved at her from far away, wanting her to possibly get up and join him and Asuka. It didn't look like she was about to move any time soon though. With every second he stood there, it looked like she was getting even more uncomfortable. "Fine," he muttered, making his way up the steps.

He sat down next to her, but she inched away from him. "S-sorry… just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out with me and Asuka." She didn't say anything. She just sat there quietly, glancing at him from out of the corners of her eyes every now and then. "Really, I'm sorry," he said again apologetically. "If you were working then…"

"No, it's okay," she said quietly and abruptly. Shinji smiled; glad to hear her talk at least. "But… maybe tomorrow."

His face fell. Had she really just turned him down so quickly? He hadn't even been sitting there for too long. He nodded; though he doubted she saw it, as she kept her eyes perpetually forward like an ever obedient student. "That's okay," he said, standing up. "Maybe tomorrow." _Maybe in a billion years,_ he thought.

That's when, for reasons unknown to him, the skies turned from clear to cloudy and rain began to fall. It was like God wanted to match the setting oh-so cruelly to how he felt inside. Shinji looked back up the stairs at Rei. She'd pulled her notebook out of her book bag and was writing again, even though the pages were getting wet. That's when Shinji wondered if school was more important than people; if _anything_ was ever more important than people.

A tear slid down his cheek, but he doubted anyone would ever notice in the rain. The school bell rang for them to come back inside.

_Right_, he thought, _maybe tomorrow._

Author's Notes: Okay, the _next_ part will be Shinji+Kaworu. Oh, will it be angsty. I just thought I would try to fit in some other characters and stuff first so I could set their situation up right. Hope you liked this chapter, so tell me what you think! You guys _have_ got me thinking, but I'm still not big on multichapteral things.


	3. Innocent

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. I wouldn't even want it if I could have it. The album title "In Between Dreams" belongs to Jack Johnson. All chapter titles from here on are songs that belong to Fuel.

In Between Dreams  
By: Nanaki BH

"Try to stay dry! Be careful! See you, kids!"

Misato waved away the kids as they made their way down the halls at the end of the day. Shinji felt somewhat lost among the sea of school kids. He couldn't seem to focus. The floor was slippery from all of the rain-soaked shoes that had treaded on it, so he had to concentrate on staying stable. He wasn't sure where Asuka went. She was probably ahead of him, he thought, or maybe she was with Hikari somewhere. He was going to have to get home with or without her in this kind of weather. It was just too bad he never have the foresight to bring an umbrella to school with him. The least he could have done was keep one in his locker.

He started down the street right outside of the school. A few lower classmen bumped into him and kept on their way without an apology. The most he got from them was a stare that said "What, you think you own the sidewalk?" Shinji didn't much care for people like them, but did people really even care for him? How many kids were there in his class that even considered him a friend? Were Kensuke and Toji even really his friends? To be honest, he didn't know anymore. He wasn't sure of it in the dream either. Kensuke; always playing army by himself… he didn't have any friends other than Toji and _himself_. Shinji wondered if he was just a fill-in; something to make them feel better about themselves.

_No_, he thought, shaking his head, _they've called me on the telephone and hung out with me and…_ He couldn't remember. Was that all a part of the dream too? Had they ever really acted like friends toward him?

He dropped his book bag, standing still in the middle of the sidewalk. Some kids pushed past him; some laughed. The rain kept falling down heavily, soaking his hair. No… he wouldn't think about it. Whatever it was in his head that was forcing him to think these things wasn't going to win, he decided. His life was his life – even if he was destined to be alone.

_No!_ That wasn't how it was going to be! He balled his fists angrily, feeling the urge to punch somebody, anybody – his father. No one was around anymore. They'd all past him and his sorry breakdown by now. Some lucky kids got picked up by their parents… _their parents_. It echoed in his head painfully, bringing tears to his eyes again. He batted them away angrily.

_How weak am,_ he thought. So standing there in his silent rage, he gathered his anger together and kicked a nearby rock as hard as he could; sending it flying down the street. "How about that!" he yelled. "I don't need you!"

"Don't need who?" a voice from behind asked.

Shinji closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "It's none of your business," he said. Despite his best efforts to try to stay cool, his composure was breaking. He could feel the tears winning the battle, crushing his dignity and self-confidence.

A hand came to rest reassuringly on his shoulder. "Well, do you want me to walk with you or what? You've got some ways to go still, right? And hey…! You dropped your bag!" The stranger bent down in front of Shinji to grab his school bag for him. _Wait_, he thought, _I know that hair! That voice…!_

"K… Kaworu?" The stranger looked up and Shinji stared deeply into the red eyes he knew so dear. "Kaworu!" Shinji flung himself at the equally soaked boy, toppling them both to the sidewalk. He laid there with him in a mess of wet clothes and limbs.

"Nice to meet you too!" he said, smiling. Shinji blushed when he noticed Kaworu's arms wrapped around his waist. He pressed his palms firmly to Kaworu's chest to sit up but he pulled him back down playfully, laughing softly to himself. "You go to school back there, right? I kind of just moved into the area, so we'll probably be in the same grade."

Shinji stared down at him, though they were close; their noses almost touching. He was in a state of surprise, relief… and arousal. It seemed that Kaworu noticed too because he wasn't about to let him go. "So… you don't know me?" Shinji asked. Kaworu shook his head. "Right…"

"How do you know my name?" he asked.

"I guess," Shinji hiccupped through confused tears, "I might have been born to meet you." It was ironic. When Kaworu first met Shinji was it the same for him then? Had _he _known him before? Had Shinji just not remembered him? "I had this really weird dream the other night and you were in it." He stood up (though uncomfortably) and grabbed his bag. "Sorry, maybe it's just a big case of déjà vu." He extended a hand and Kaworu took it, gracefully helping himself up.

Kaworu offered him that familiar smile he almost always had on and brushed away a few of Shinji's tears. "That's alright. I get weird déjà vu all the time," he said. Shinji felt unbearably stupid now for jumping on him like that and felt worse knowing that Kaworu didn't remember him. It was like Kaworu was making up excuses for him now. He wasn't sure if he should feel bad or… grateful.

"Thanks," Shinji said quietly.

"For what?" he asked.

Shinji looked away, blushing. "Just… for stopping."

Kaworu nodded understandingly, slipping his hand into Shinji's. He looked up, surprised that someone he'd just met (and jumped all over, no less) was willing to hold his hand like that. He smiled and Shinji felt like crying again; not because he was sad even. The smile he gave him reminded him so much of the good times they'd had together, though few. And Kaworu was always smiling, even now, even when there was nothing to really smile about.

Shinji squeezed his hand back, closing his eyes, tears still slipping down his cheeks like the rain. He felt Kaworu's free hand on his shoulder and something soft on his lips – something unmistakably Kaworu. His breath caught in his throat and he gasped, opening his eyes. Kaworu stood back, blush on his face, smile gone. "S-sorry," he whispered.

"No!" Shinji said, almost as embarrassed as Kaworu. "Really… it's okay."

"No… I don't want to make you uncomfortable; especially if we're going to be in the same class," he said.

The rain wasn't looking like it was going to stop. Shinji took his chances and stepped closer to Kaworu, closing the space between them. "I don't think you could ever make me uncomfortable." With that they're lips touched and for once since the dream, Shinji felt at ease, like he _really_ knew something for sure. He wrapped his arms around Kaworu's neck, still tightly gripping the handle of his school bag. It wasn't a really intense kiss… It was light, but loving.

The hopelessness he'd previously felt faded away to nothing. He hadn't hurt the one he loved after all and he'd be sure that if worst came to worst – this time he knew the right decision.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Kaworu asked after they parted.

Shinji blushed, touched by his generosity. "I guess, but what about you? You'll get sick if you stay out here. How about you stay at my place tonight?" That's something he'd always wanted; to spend a peaceful night with Kaworu… though it might not necessarily be _peaceful_ with Asuka around…

"But… I'm enrolling tomorrow. I have to wear the uniform and I have to bring my books." He didn't look happy, but he wasn't telling Shinji "_no_". No, he certainly wasn't refusing. In fact, he seemed disappointed that it was an inconvenience.

"You can go back to your house and get your stuff for school in the morning," Shinji suggested. Kaworu didn't look too convinced. "Want to call your mom when we get there?"

Kaworu grinned. "Great. It's a plan."

Shinji just hoped Asuka wouldn't mind him bringing home a stranger.

Author's Notes: Joy, another chapter down. I _am_ making it more than three because it would be cruel of me to leave it there. I might end it at four, but I originally said it'd be only two, so you can't trust my word. From now on, chapters will be named conveniently after Fuel titles because that's what's been in my CD player. I hope you enjoyed that chapter. Tell me what you think!


	4. Prove

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. I wouldn't even want it if I could have it. The album title "In Between Dreams" belongs to Jack Johnson. All chapter titles are songs that belong to Fuel.

In Between Dreams  
By: Nanaki BH

"Is it just me or did the rain get harder?" The two boys stood, soaked, in the doorway of Shinji's apartment. Before Shinji had even heard Kaworu's off-handed question, he was running to the bathroom to get the two of them towels. When he came back, Kaworu had already kicked off his shoes and was standing in the living room. "Don't worry; I'm not getting anything wet."

Shinji smiled embarrassedly. "If you're going to stay here… might you want some clothes to change into? You can't stand the whole time." Kaworu nodded; an affectionate smile on his delicate lips. He nodded in return. "Here, take this for now," he said, handing him the towel. He walked, more like _rushed, _back to his room to get Kaworu a change of clothes.

"How silly," Kaworu said aloud to himself, draping the towel over his shoulders. "Thanks… uh… Hey!"

"What?" Shinji called from the other room.

He ruffled his hair with his towel. "What's your name? You never told me."

Shinji emerged, carrying a neatly folded stack of clothes. He extended the small stack to Kaworu. "I'm Shinji Ikari." Kaworu leaned forward, taking the clothes and at the same time, gently kissing Shinji on the lips. He smiled, eyes half lidded, in gratitude. Shinji noticed that he had a smile for everything – even in bad situations he could smile.

He waited for him on the couch in the living room. He couldn't even bring himself to turn on the TV. All he could think about was Kaworu and how amazing it was that they'd finally met. To make things even more perfect, things looked good between them. They'd instantly hit it off. Shinji leaned back, resting his head on the sofa. He sighed, closing his eyes. The school day was definitely tiring. _Geez_, he thought, _it's only the beginning of the school year. What will I do with myself?_ It was true; he'd practically fallen asleep in class that day. Thankfully, he didn't dream. What if he had? Would he have gone back to where it all left off?

"You must wear the same size as me," Kaworu said when he came back from Shinji's room. He was wearing a simple pair of blue plaid pajamas. Shinji hadn't worn them in a while (and they were clean) so he hoped Kaworu wouldn't mind the ridiculous pattern. "They're cute." Guess he didn't…

Shinji softly patted the cushion next to himself on the couch. "Take a seat," he offered.

He sat down a bit closer than he expected. Kaworu let his towel slide from his shoulders to the floor as he leaned over to wrap an arm gracefully around Shinji's shoulders. Despite being a little uncomfortable, Shinji allowed himself to sink into Kaworu's arms, burying his head under his chin. He smelled like the rain, he noticed… and something else; something entirely unique. He closed his eyes and after a few moments, realized that he had almost fallen asleep again.

"It looks like the apartment belongs to us for the night, I guess. Asuka must be with Hikari," Shinji said.

"Asuka?" he asked.

He frowned and stuck out his tongue. "She's my roommate… She has a sensitive side, but she's almost always getting on me for something. Actually, I'm glad she's not here."

"So who were you yelling about back there? Her?" Kaworu asked him, gently placing a hand at the small of Shinji's back.

Although he couldn't see Kaworu's face, he knew it wasn't necessary to. For some reason he had the feeling he was smiling anyway. "No; my dad," he sighed, closing his eyes so he could better listen to the steady beat of his heart.

"_Don't need him_, eh?" He asked. He grew more daring, tenderly untucking Shinji's school shirt from his pants so he could feel his skin.

Shinji fidgeted a little in his arms when he felt the cold palm touch his back. He didn't want to break away from him though… "My father," he said, trying to ignore Kaworu's searching hand, "left me and my mother when I was very young. My mom… died when I was young too. I've lived alone for many years now."

"I'm sorry to hear that… Sounds lonely for you," he said, kissing the top of his head lovingly.

Lonely… it was always more than lonely. It was painful to be without parents. His father would always tell him that wasn't true though. _"You still have me."_ Yeah, he still had him but he was never around; never there when he really needed him to be a parent. He wasn't there for his birthdays even. All he did (at most) was send him a card and money. Shinji lived off of his father's money. Getting money as a birthday present never thrilled him, but each time his birthday would roll around he would hope for the slim chance that he'd receive a real gift.

A real gift… something like his mother. _That_ would have been a true gift. Shinji knew she'd never return though. Neither would his father.

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Kaworu's middle, closing his tired eyes. "Lonely isn't even the half of it," he whispered. He doubted Kaworu heard him.

"So," he said, "tell me a little about what I should expect from this school of yours." Gently, he ran a hand through Shinji's rain soaked hair. "What's our teacher like?"

Shinji smiled. Misato. She was a real character. "Our teacher is Ms. Katsuragi. She's really nice."

"What kind of homework does she give?" He asked worriedly.

Shinji laughed a little, rubbing his arm. He felt so comfortable with him. "You don't have much to worry about. She's tends to be lenient with our schoolwork. What you have to worry about are her tests… they count for a lot of your grade and almost everybody bombs them." Shinji believed that the way Misato gave tests was a true testament to her parental personality. She trusts her students like she would her own children… but she knows when to crack the whip just to make sure they've been listening.

Kaworu groaned, sinking deep into the sofa. "I'm screwed then." He wrapped his arms around Shinji's waist and hoisted him into his lap to sit sideways. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" He asked, knowing he was being a little _straight-forward._

"No, no," Shinji said reassuringly. To be honest, he was quite thrilled; it was something he wasn't really used to. He bent down, shifting a little in his lap, to kiss his damp head. A grin graced his lips and a blush colored his cheeks when he smelled the faint scent of rain in his hair. "It's fine with me."

He noticed then how Kaworu looked a little uncomfortable himself. He raised a curious eyebrow at him and Kaworu assured him with a soft kiss. "I'm fine, I'm fine! Just wondering though… About the other kids."

"Yeah?" he asked.

A deep blush practically lit up his whole face. It looked like dark red paint on a face as pale as his. "Well, I'm not the type to get embarrassed, but…" That was already obvious to Shinji. Hell, he was sitting in his lap, after all. "What would the other kids think about _this?_" he asked apprehensively, speaking of them.

Carefully, he made his way off of Kaworu's lap. A subtle look of disappointment crossed Kaworu's face. Just to make him happy, Shinji leaned up again and placed a chaste kiss to his cheek. "Don't worry. Just… keep it quiet." He knew that sort of thing would be difficult for Kaworu. They hadn't had much time together before in his dream, but he was sure Kaworu was the loud kind. He seemed to be the type who'd go to the top of a mountain to scream how much he was in love.

"But what are they like?" He asked. "Would they get mad if we kissed once in a while or what?"

If he hadn't been firmly planted back in the sofa, Shinji was sure he would have fallen off at that comment. He gulped, turning to face him embarrassedly. "Well… yeah, I think they would," he said, trying his best not to dishearten Kaworu again. "But nobody at school's really all that open about their relationships."

"Ah," he muttered, resting himself back again, putting an arm around Shinji's shoulders. "So that means we can't do stuff like this?" he asked. To Shinji's displeasure, Kaworu used his coffee table as a footrest.

It was hard for Shinji to believe that Kaworu didn't know it was viewed as indecent (_especially_ for two guys) to show open displays of affection at school. It was really awkward for him to talk about these kinds of things; it was one thing to _do_ them, but talking about sexuality was something Shinji just didn't like doing. "Probably not," he said. "I've heard about some kids dating but we never hear the details… the girls probably know but the guys are usually left out of it."

"So we should leave this at home, huh." His hand slipped like a perfect match into Shinji's, his grip firm and comforting. "That won't stop me from passing you notes, you know that right?" he asked, looking down at him with a kind but mischievous gaze.

With a quiet sigh, Shinji nestled his now only slightly damp head against Kaworu's shoulder. "I guess notes are okay… Just don't let somebody like Hikari see them, alright?"

Kaworu laughed softly then pulled Shinji against him into a hug. "Alright. You know, I was thinking of something before and I can't remember what it was." He looked around for a second, as if trying to find it. He clicked his fingers, face lighting up. "I remember! I'm staying here, right?" he asked.

"Oh!" Shinji gasped. "I haven't even changed yet!" Shinji hastily stood, pulling the towel from his shoulders. He looked down at Kaworu apologetically and vanished into his room. Once he was safely inside, he slid down his door, clutching the towel in jittering hands. "Wow," he muttered to himself, finally letting the day's events sink in. Somehow everything in the dream felt so far away now… as if his day had been longer than the dream and certainly more fulfilling; as it should. Like he'd felt in his dream, it was easy for him to talk to Kaworu about his father and his problems. Every bad premonition vanished as soon as saw his face.

Such a feeling of security had previously been unknown to him. He looked forward to the days ahead that would be so much more than just a fantasy; the days he'd spend with the guy of his dreams. "I shouldn't keep him waiting," Shinji decided, standing up.

He changed quickly, almost falling over himself in his haste. By the time he came out of his room, dressed in a simple pair of pajamas, Kaworu had already fallen asleep on the couch. He sighed; mildly disappointed that he couldn't wait for him to get back in such a short amount of time. _I hope his parents don't get mad_, he thought remembering the promise he gave to call them.

He made a short trip back to his room to get some pillows and blankets. Gently, he laid one of his thick blankets over Kaworu, making sure he looked comfortable before he turned out the lights in the living room. Shinji laid himself down on the carpet, tucking a pillow under his head and pulling his own blanket up to his chin. He sighed audibly, closing his eyes.

Looking up at the ceiling, he noticed that it was familiar, like home; not like the many unfamiliar ceilings before. He could hear Kaworu's breathing in the still air of the apartment. He looked over at him, thinking ironically, what an _angel_ he looked like.

It felt like days since he had last been able to close his eyes and contentedly fall asleep. His mind was no longer plagued by the vivid and horrible dream. The last thing on his mind before he finally drifted off to sleep was Kaworu. Love, he realized, was the only true similarity between his fantasy and reality. How grateful he was to find that dreams could come true.

Author's Notes: I'm leaving it like that for now. It might be finished… it might not be. Don't whine about it if I don't give you more. As I said all the way back in the first chapter, I don't like multichapteral, so if I stop here it's only for the best. Besides, it's a nice place to stop without going into more stuff. So… tell me what you think.


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